Are You Living in a Mercedes Lackey Novel?
Dear god, I hope not. Ughh. For your own sake, I hope you answer no to
or all of the following questions:
- The magic blue-eyed white Aryan Jesus horses decide who gets to run
- The magic white horses are ALWAYS RIGHT. Democracy,
- You and everyone you know have at least two of the following:
Also, the most common eye colors are silver, emerald green, and icy
- psionic powers
- a telepathic animal sidekick with a dry sense of humor
- a magic sword with a mind of its own
- a dark, troubled past
- flowing, ass-length hair (which comes in silvery white, rippling
- You can only wear one color. This color determines your personality
your role in life. If you change the color of your clothes, you will
a completely new person!
- The best way to get sympathy from your friends is to be gang-raped,
tortured, and almost — but not quite — killed. Luckily, there
are plenty of
demonic cult members, dastardly despots, and vengeful bandits who are
to help you out with this.
- The best way to show sympathy to your friends is to beat them up
them lazy and selfish.
- Intergenerational romance is the best kind. Unless one of you is,
fat or something. Ewww!
- All fat people are stupid, evil, lazy, whiny, or poisoned. This may
may not apply to Misty herself.
- Mercenary soldiers are your friends. No, really, they are. Most of
are hot blond chicks who love to do crafts in their spare time.
- Your parents were really, REALLY mean to you — but you showed
If you answered yes to five or more questions, you may need to see a
(in the green clothes) to get help for your little...adjustment
whatever it is. If you answered yes to eight or more questions, drop
everything and do whatever's necessary to find a dimensional portal. If
you're lucky, you might be able to escape to a more mature and
place, like Xanth.
Don't be a hero!