Hurrah for Kiddie Porn!

metalady, by rotten elf

In a great victory for all freedom-loving Americans, it's been ruled that pedophiles can now legally enjoy pornography that appears to depict children, so long as no actual kids were involved in the production of the material. In a 6-3 decision (Ashcroft v. The Free Speech Coalition, No. 00-795), the Supreme Court ruled that computer-generated images, and images of youthful-looking adult porno stars, are perfectly legal. Aw yeah!

Okay, so, it's hard to get all enthusiastic over kiddie porn. I'm even kind of grossing myself out here. But that's EXACTLY WHY the old "we must protect the children" line is the first one trotted out by the Forces of Evil whenever they are seeking to ban something they don't approve of, or to revoke privacy rights that they find inconvenient. We must protect the children, so gays can't be teachers. We must protect the children, so the government should be able to conduct surveillance on all Americans. We must protect the children, so most forms of speech and expression should be censored.

Well, fuck all that stinky-ass crapola! If you want to be gay or kinky or foulmouthed, or even just live your life without the Feds spying on you all the time, eventually you've got to say: Thoughts and artwork, no matter how sick or disgusting, are not crimes. Of course the people who hurt children should be punished. But works of fiction and imagination — like, oh, say, Lolita — can't be criminalized. Hell, if that creepy skank Anne Geddes isn't in jail yet, then I want my fucking kiddie porn, god damn it.

Writing for the majority, Justice Anthony Kennedy said: "The mere tendency of speech to encourage unlawful acts is not a sufficient reason for banning it." Right on, Tony K! I'm gonna get that tattooed on my ass!

(Do you suppose Justice Kennedy ever gets on Google to do searches for his own name? The youth of America are shouting out to you, ma homey!)

Free speech, baby. Do it for the children.

RedFeather, by

The Frisco Kid is generally to be found all likkered up and spoiling for a fight. She's a sexy Wild West gunslinger in the great tradition of Annie Oakley and Calamity Jane, only a little less with the sharpshooting and a little more with the booze-fueled marathons of Star Trek and sodomy.

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